Guilt, that most of catholic of word. It can take many forms, guilt for prosperity while others suffer, guilt for something you have done, guilt for what you are putting others through. At the moment I am ticking all the boxes. Sorry that this is a bit of a downer of an entry but it's been a hard day.
I guess when you hit rock bottom the only way is up, but I' not sure I have a ladder at the moment.
We'll just have to wait and and hope I suppose. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
As one door shuts another opens. God I'm full of cliches today. But that's what I've got to hold on to.
Tomorrow is another day, and I am determined to make the most of it.
Gotta be optimistic, gotta be optimistic.
The pain will recede in time.
I've just to start to believe it.
That's the hard part.
To my family and friends, I love you all more than you could possibly realise. Without you I am not sure what I would have done.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Mumblings on Jim Jones, Afghanistan and Armistead Maupin
I have always been a fan of lunatic American charismatic preachers. Clearly the 'Reverend' Jim Jones is one of my all time favourites, the Kool Aid incident aside http://www.religioustolerance.org/dc_jones.htm . One of the intersting things I find about the whole sordid Peoples Temple business was the sign that was displayed at the front entrance to the peoples temple, it read; "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it". And all though he slightly misquotes Santayana http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/santayana/, it's something those other religous ideologoues, namely messers Bush, Cheney and Runsfeld may have done well to remember.
I have always found myself in a quandry about Afghanistan, clearly under the Taliban it was a barbaric state and no right thinking person could possibly support it. That said, I was never convinced that any form of intervention in Afghanistan was going to work. If you lookback through the history of Afghanistan you could see it was always going to end in tears. Most of the great empires have tried to conqer the country and in the most part, perhaps with Genghis Khan and the Mongols excepted, they have failed. The great Empires of Britain and the Soviets have failed, so I am not sure how the Bush et al expected their brand of American Exceptionalism http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=3327839006982521557 to succeed.
Perhaps I should leave it up to some one far more inteligent than I to come up with an answer to this.
http://www.wanttoknow.info/brzezinskigrandchessboard
My guess in the short term, we will see Afghanistan fall off the radar slightly, because we are coming up to the winter months there and winters being the way the are over there, no matter what your point of you it's pretty hard to get anything done when you are waist deep in snow. But come summer it will all start again and I am not sure we will be any further towards a solution.
Richard Holbrooke http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7846654.stm has shit load of work in front of him.
On a lighter night, anyone interested in a alternate end to the Jim Jones story might want to check out Further Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin http://www.amazon.com/Further-Tales-City-V/dp/0060924926 /ref=pd_sim_b_3 In fact read the whole series. Written like Dickens or Tom Wolfes' Bonfire of the Vanities i.e; as chapters in a periodical, they are some of the funniest, heartwarming books you could ever read.
I have always found myself in a quandry about Afghanistan, clearly under the Taliban it was a barbaric state and no right thinking person could possibly support it. That said, I was never convinced that any form of intervention in Afghanistan was going to work. If you lookback through the history of Afghanistan you could see it was always going to end in tears. Most of the great empires have tried to conqer the country and in the most part, perhaps with Genghis Khan and the Mongols excepted, they have failed. The great Empires of Britain and the Soviets have failed, so I am not sure how the Bush et al expected their brand of American Exceptionalism http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=3327839006982521557 to succeed.
Perhaps I should leave it up to some one far more inteligent than I to come up with an answer to this.
http://www.wanttoknow.info/brzezinskigrandchessboard
My guess in the short term, we will see Afghanistan fall off the radar slightly, because we are coming up to the winter months there and winters being the way the are over there, no matter what your point of you it's pretty hard to get anything done when you are waist deep in snow. But come summer it will all start again and I am not sure we will be any further towards a solution.
Richard Holbrooke http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7846654.stm has shit load of work in front of him.
On a lighter night, anyone interested in a alternate end to the Jim Jones story might want to check out Further Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin http://www.amazon.com/Further-Tales-City-V/dp/0060924926 /ref=pd_sim_b_3 In fact read the whole series. Written like Dickens or Tom Wolfes' Bonfire of the Vanities i.e; as chapters in a periodical, they are some of the funniest, heartwarming books you could ever read.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Mumblings on meditation
I have got into meditation a bit lately. It was suggested to me that it would help reduce my burgeoning stress levels. And you know what? It does. Why this came as a surprise, I'm not quite sure. What I realised though, is that I had been unconciously using meditation for a while. I suspect that there is quite a lot of misunderstanding out there about meditation. Firstly I think people need to realise that it is not difficult, the concentration required to do this is no more than say reading a book. Secondly, you need to find out what works for you, what works for me may not work for others. Thirdly, and most importantly, is keep at it, the rewards are worth it.
http://home.att.net/~meditation/MeditationHandbook.html
This is probably as good a place as any to start, but remember, none of these techniques are set in stone, they can be tweaked to suit individuals.
I can now meditate for about half and hour and at the end of it, come away feeling totally relaxed in both mind and body
http://home.att.net/~meditation/MeditationHandbook.html
This is probably as good a place as any to start, but remember, none of these techniques are set in stone, they can be tweaked to suit individuals.
I can now meditate for about half and hour and at the end of it, come away feeling totally relaxed in both mind and body
Monday, October 19, 2009
Mumblings on last night's Australian Story, addiction and Monty Python
Watched this last night; http://www.abc.net.au/austory/. Quite a sad story really. I just had to Google to see how old Mandawuy Yunupingu is. 53. He looks a lot older than that. End stage kidney failure brought on by years of boozing. There was a postscript at the end saying he was still a year and a half off being considered for a kidney transplant. Got to admit that I came away not feeling really hopeful for his future.
He claimed to have at one point been drinking 4 (!!!!) slabs of beer a day. I have a working knowledge of addiction, but that is extreme. Addiction, be it to alcohol, drugs, sex (I should be so lucky) is an awful disease. Graham Chapman wrote extensively of his alcoholism in his autobiography, http://www.amazon.co.uk/Liars-Autobiography-Graham-Chapman/dp/0413740900, the pieces he writes of his attempts to give up drinking and the physical effects of the sobering process are harrowing. Like Yunupingu, Chapman was an educated man, a medical doctor, who more than anyone must have known what he was doing to himself. Still we all fight demons of one form or another I guess.
Which brings me, in a runabout sort of way to the 40th anniversay of Monty Python's Flying Circus. http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/features/nudge-nudge-eric-idle-on-40-years-of-monty-python-1803501.html Being a child of the British Empire (Canadian mother raised in England, English father, raised in Rhodesia, as it was then) growing up in the '80's my cultural touchstones were very much English. That being the case it was inevitable that sooner, rather than later I discovered Monty Python. I had never seen anything like it. It was the most wild and original thing that I had ever seen. Still is at times. But 40 years ago, when the comedy heroes of the day were Steptoe and Son and that classic English bigot, Alf Garnett, it must have been revolutionary.
He claimed to have at one point been drinking 4 (!!!!) slabs of beer a day. I have a working knowledge of addiction, but that is extreme. Addiction, be it to alcohol, drugs, sex (I should be so lucky) is an awful disease. Graham Chapman wrote extensively of his alcoholism in his autobiography, http://www.amazon.co.uk/Liars-Autobiography-Graham-Chapman/dp/0413740900, the pieces he writes of his attempts to give up drinking and the physical effects of the sobering process are harrowing. Like Yunupingu, Chapman was an educated man, a medical doctor, who more than anyone must have known what he was doing to himself. Still we all fight demons of one form or another I guess.
Which brings me, in a runabout sort of way to the 40th anniversay of Monty Python's Flying Circus. http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/features/nudge-nudge-eric-idle-on-40-years-of-monty-python-1803501.html Being a child of the British Empire (Canadian mother raised in England, English father, raised in Rhodesia, as it was then) growing up in the '80's my cultural touchstones were very much English. That being the case it was inevitable that sooner, rather than later I discovered Monty Python. I had never seen anything like it. It was the most wild and original thing that I had ever seen. Still is at times. But 40 years ago, when the comedy heroes of the day were Steptoe and Son and that classic English bigot, Alf Garnett, it must have been revolutionary.
Mumblings on the Death Penalty
http://static.reprieve.org.uk/stephenfryappeal.html
The death penalty is nothing but old testament barbarism. To execute a mentally ill man even more so. Take the time, if you can, to look at the link, if you feel that you are able to help, please do so.
The death penalty is nothing but old testament barbarism. To execute a mentally ill man even more so. Take the time, if you can, to look at the link, if you feel that you are able to help, please do so.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Mumblings on Nick Giffin, B.N.P. and freedom of speech
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article6879536.ece
Apparently, Nick Griffin has been invited to go on Question Time, and this has caused our English friends some grief.
I find the man loathesome and am appalled by everything he stands for. That he has been invited on this august British program shows that democracy is alive and kicking. Let's not forget that he is an elected member of the European Parliament, just because we find his views distasteful, does not mean that he should be should be denied a forum in which to state them. Quite to the contrary, we should be proud that we live in a country mature enough not to stifle free speech. At makes a nice contrast to the Britain envisioned by Griffin and his thugs, freedom of speech is unlikely to be high on their list of priorities.
The B.N.P. is full of ignorant, bigoted, oafs. The more coverage they are given the more of a chance they will get to demonstrate this, and many of those who voted for them will come to this conclusion. It also doesn't allow them to complain of discrimination by the media.
You know what they say. Give 'em enough rope....
Apparently, Nick Griffin has been invited to go on Question Time, and this has caused our English friends some grief.
I find the man loathesome and am appalled by everything he stands for. That he has been invited on this august British program shows that democracy is alive and kicking. Let's not forget that he is an elected member of the European Parliament, just because we find his views distasteful, does not mean that he should be should be denied a forum in which to state them. Quite to the contrary, we should be proud that we live in a country mature enough not to stifle free speech. At makes a nice contrast to the Britain envisioned by Griffin and his thugs, freedom of speech is unlikely to be high on their list of priorities.
The B.N.P. is full of ignorant, bigoted, oafs. The more coverage they are given the more of a chance they will get to demonstrate this, and many of those who voted for them will come to this conclusion. It also doesn't allow them to complain of discrimination by the media.
You know what they say. Give 'em enough rope....
Mumblings on Justin Langer
I am a cricket fan, and an avid one at that, which is probably the reason that I am not over keen on 20/20. But given that we are in the sporting twilight zone that occurs between the end of the football and the beginning of the cricket season and I don't like racing cars or horses I have been watching the Champions League.
New South Wales played Somerset last night, and slaughtered them. It was also Justin Langer's last competitive game of cricket.
I was never a fan of the Steve Waugh/John Howard era cricket team of which Langer was both it's cornerstone and most avid devotee. But he always struck me as a bit of a thinker and I always admire those who make the best of limited ability.
So in a way it was a bit sad to see him go out in such unremarkable fashion last night. Facing a test strength New South Wales attack his feet looked slow, you sensed he knew what he should be doing but just couldn't do it anymore. Age, he's 38, looked finally to have caught up with him. In the brave new world of 20/20 cricket, the only Australian batsmen to have scored more first class runs than Bradman left the game, playing for an English team, against an Australian one, in India.
http://www.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/6256.html
Pretty impressive if you ask me.
New South Wales played Somerset last night, and slaughtered them. It was also Justin Langer's last competitive game of cricket.
I was never a fan of the Steve Waugh/John Howard era cricket team of which Langer was both it's cornerstone and most avid devotee. But he always struck me as a bit of a thinker and I always admire those who make the best of limited ability.
So in a way it was a bit sad to see him go out in such unremarkable fashion last night. Facing a test strength New South Wales attack his feet looked slow, you sensed he knew what he should be doing but just couldn't do it anymore. Age, he's 38, looked finally to have caught up with him. In the brave new world of 20/20 cricket, the only Australian batsmen to have scored more first class runs than Bradman left the game, playing for an English team, against an Australian one, in India.
http://www.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/6256.html
Pretty impressive if you ask me.
Mumblings on the virtual world.
For reasons that I won't go into I have an awful lot of time on my hands at the moment. An awful lot of that is spent alone too. This has resulted in me dipping a paw into the world of being a netizen. Hence we have this, a blog, it seemed like the right thing to do, although what I am going to do with it another question altogether. I also have a twitter account, @master_grundy, should any of you read this and care to get a more concise version of what I might be thinking.
Spent an hour or so looking around and came to the conclusion twitter is not about about people posting inane comments about their equally inane life. If you had a life you wouldn't be spending it mindlessly sharing it with the rest of the world.
It is, I concluded, a very pure way to provide information. It is a way for companies and well known people to deal directly with their fanbase. I very much doubt too many people will follow my tweets, or indeed read this blog. But I followed Stephen Fry, and Billy Bragg , and Kevin Rudd. I will have regular, if rather one sided conversations with these people. It is an intriguing concept.
I also noted, and duly followed, the character from Neighbours, Zeke Kinski. A great meshing of new and old technology. A writer, in character, tweets, naturally the tweets follow whichever disaster is happening to beset Ramsey St. surely the most afflicted street in all of Australia.
This so-called virtual world is certainly a new frontier for me.
Spent an hour or so looking around and came to the conclusion twitter is not about about people posting inane comments about their equally inane life. If you had a life you wouldn't be spending it mindlessly sharing it with the rest of the world.
It is, I concluded, a very pure way to provide information. It is a way for companies and well known people to deal directly with their fanbase. I very much doubt too many people will follow my tweets, or indeed read this blog. But I followed Stephen Fry, and Billy Bragg , and Kevin Rudd. I will have regular, if rather one sided conversations with these people. It is an intriguing concept.
I also noted, and duly followed, the character from Neighbours, Zeke Kinski. A great meshing of new and old technology. A writer, in character, tweets, naturally the tweets follow whichever disaster is happening to beset Ramsey St. surely the most afflicted street in all of Australia.
This so-called virtual world is certainly a new frontier for me.
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